Practicing Reconciliation

by Dave Poole

Following the beatitudes, Jesus discusses some legal issues that were hot topics among the religious leaders of his day ... topics like murder, adultery, divorce, etc. Jesus quotes from the Ten Commandments (the Law of Moses) stating what the Pharisees and teachers of the law would profess and practice (the “letter of the law”). But then Jesus takes it a step further with interpretations that went beyond the details of the law to clarify the intention of God’s will (the “spirit of the law”). This week we’ll look at the commandment against murder and Jesus’ interpretive expansion which includes anger. We’ll look at how anger affects our relationships in community, affects our relationships with each other, and affects our relationship with God.

Day 1 - Read Matthew 5: 21-22
Jesus reminds the people of the commandment “Thou shalt not kill” (or “Do not murder”) then interprets that commandment to include being angry with your brother. While it might be easy for most of us to avoid killing someone, it seems nearly impossible for us to avoid getting angry with someone. Why would Jesus put such a painfully difficult spin on this commandment? Jesus came to usher in a new community ... the Kingdom of God ... and anger expressed in name calling (“fool, idiot, stupid” i.e. character assassination) is a serious threat to a new, small community. Anger and insults could easily spill over into actions and lead to violence, especially in a culture where public honor was highly valued and any breaking of it required some response (recall Joseph’s reaction when he learned Mary was pregnant: Matthew 1:19 ... “Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.”). Matthew stresses communal harmony, forbidding angry insults because of their danger to the community.

Have you ever been angry at someone? Called him/her nasty names (even if only in your head)? Did you resolve it? Did you renew your relationship? Let us pray that in our community God will work in our hearts so that we may reach out to each other to reconcile our differences and rebuild our broken relationships.

Day 2 - Read Matthew 5: 21-22
When I was a kid and nasty name calling would erupt, my mother would try to soothe the hurts saying: “Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt us!” I’m sure it was comforting to hear her calming words – but deep down inside I knew that words (name calling) really did hurt. And Jesus knew that too. He knew that speaking an- gry words could be like throwing gasoline on a fire – explosive. So Matthew tells us that Jesus interpreted “Do not murder” to show the intention of God’s will that we not be angry – that we not call each other names – that we not speak badly about our brother or sister or neighbor.

Has anyone ever called you a nasty name? How did you feel? Did it hurt? Angry attacks often provoke defensiveness ... and sometimes retaliation. Let us pray that God will give us the self discipline to speak well of others, and the courage to work out any hurts and angers that we may feel toward others or that we think others may feel toward us.

Day 3 - Read Matthew 5: 21-24
As a teenager, I suffered a few ordeals of breaking up with a girlfriend. (Maybe you experienced this too). It seemed to happen in those most vulnerable times of high school and college. Breaking up – trying to make up – only to later face another break up. It seemed to be a life experience painfully recycled. We even had songs about it back in the 60’s.

Now, as an adult, I wonder whatever happened to that effort to “make up”? It seems that when we “break up” now – when we have a falling out with someone or a disagreement over something, we are more inclined to just “write that person out of our life” rather than try to find a way to “make up” (to be reconciled). And yet Jesus says this is so important that even if we realize this in the middle of a worship service, we should go and “make up” (be reconciled) with that person ... and then come back to finish worshiping. Maybe this is why we include the sharing of the peace in our worship service.

Let us pray that the Holy Spirit will embolden us to go to the person with whom we have some dispute (or who has some dispute with us) and empower us to work with love, patience and persistence toward reconciliation.

Day 4 - Read Matthew 5: 21-26
God’s commandments were given not only to regulate our relationships in community with each other but also to prescribe our relationship with God. So if there is anger or discord in our relationship with another person ... how might that affect our relationship with God? In 1st John chapter 4 we read: “We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” Jesus knows that our conflicted relationships with each other will inevitably contaminate our relationship with God. So again, reconciliation with our “brother” takes a very high priority.

Let us pray that we not hide or deny our broken relationships with any others, but that God will help us go in love to be reconciled with them. For God has said: “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25: 40). Let us reconcile with our brother so that we may likewise be reconciled with God.

Day 5 -Read Matthew 5: 21-26
Why do you think Jesus expresses such urgency about our reconciling: “Settle matters quickly with your adversary ...” ? Jesus didn’t command us to not get angry (he got angry himself several times), but he commands us to deal with it constructively; not stew in it, not pretend it doesn’t exist, not let it fester inside us. Jesus knows that we tend to procrastinate, especially with unpleasant or difficult things we really don’t want to do. And he knows that if we stew in our anger or let it fester, it will trap us in a vicious cycle of unsatisfactory relationships and ultimately alienation from God. So he tells us to go to our brother/sister to settle matters quickly. He tells us to take the initiative to make it happen ... to take the first step ... to make the first move.

Let us pray that God will give us the courage to acknowledge our anger, the humility to go to our brother (or sister) with whom we have that disagreement, and the love to persist in seeking reconciliation.