Sex, Love and Wholeness

by Kim Wilkens

Day 1 - Adultery & Divorce
Read Matthew 5:27-32. What is your gut reaction to this text? For me, it starts with guilt because my focus immediately goes to the "divorce" section. I'm divorced. What does this mean for me? I find there are generally not many words of comfort for the divorced in the Bible. My next reaction is anger because as a female I don't like reading this patriarchal language where husbands seem to have all the rights. Did you also feel some strong emotional reactions to this text? Why do you think Jesus uses such strong language and disturbing imagery around the subject of adultery & divorce?

Day 2 - Betrayal
Sex is the ultimate intimate act with another. As such, it can also reveal our most vulnerable selves to another. When one experiences betrayal and/or abuse associated with this act, gut wrenching emotions, spiritual and possibly physical damage will surely follow. I think this must be why Jesus treats this subject so harshly. The consequences of heading down the path of adultery and unfaithfulness are destructive to all involved. Read Lamentations 1. Have you ever been betrayed? What did it feel like? What lasting effects did it have on your life?

Day 3 - Evil
It doesn't seem like any rational person would argue with the concept that faithfulness is good and betrayal is bad. So how come our actions are often in conflict with our reason? This is where evil enters the picture. Evil is not rational. Read Mark 7:1-23. Jesus reminds the teachers, the crowd and his disciples that evil resides in everyone. We cannot blame outside influences for the existence of this evil. What outside influences can do is make it very hard for us to overcome our resident evil. Consider how the values of our culture and the portrayal of sex and love in the media might influence your resident evil.

Day 4 - Love
Many people spend their lives "looking for love in all the wrong places". With so many false ideas and images about sex and love out in the world, how are we to recognize the real thing? In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul does a beautiful job of describing what love is.

"Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Read the rest of 1 Corinthians 13. How is this kind of love possible? Have you seen or experienced this kind of love in the world?

Day 5 - Wholeness
Read Matthew 5:27-32 again. I wonder if Jesus uses such explicit language about losing body parts not only to capture our attention, but also to indicate how it is our thoughts of betrayal that begin the damage within us. Maybe it is not really the act itself that gets us in the end, but the way we let our hearts become twisted and broken with thoughts of adultery, indecency, envy and pride. Read Romans 8:31-39. Paul's words remind us that nothing can separate us from the love of God and that is where we need to turn to find forgiveness, reconciliation and a path to wholeness.

Practicing Reconciliation

by Dave Poole

Following the beatitudes, Jesus discusses some legal issues that were hot topics among the religious leaders of his day ... topics like murder, adultery, divorce, etc. Jesus quotes from the Ten Commandments (the Law of Moses) stating what the Pharisees and teachers of the law would profess and practice (the “letter of the law”). But then Jesus takes it a step further with interpretations that went beyond the details of the law to clarify the intention of God’s will (the “spirit of the law”). This week we’ll look at the commandment against murder and Jesus’ interpretive expansion which includes anger. We’ll look at how anger affects our relationships in community, affects our relationships with each other, and affects our relationship with God.

Day 1 - Read Matthew 5: 21-22
Jesus reminds the people of the commandment “Thou shalt not kill” (or “Do not murder”) then interprets that commandment to include being angry with your brother. While it might be easy for most of us to avoid killing someone, it seems nearly impossible for us to avoid getting angry with someone. Why would Jesus put such a painfully difficult spin on this commandment? Jesus came to usher in a new community ... the Kingdom of God ... and anger expressed in name calling (“fool, idiot, stupid” i.e. character assassination) is a serious threat to a new, small community. Anger and insults could easily spill over into actions and lead to violence, especially in a culture where public honor was highly valued and any breaking of it required some response (recall Joseph’s reaction when he learned Mary was pregnant: Matthew 1:19 ... “Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.”). Matthew stresses communal harmony, forbidding angry insults because of their danger to the community.

Have you ever been angry at someone? Called him/her nasty names (even if only in your head)? Did you resolve it? Did you renew your relationship? Let us pray that in our community God will work in our hearts so that we may reach out to each other to reconcile our differences and rebuild our broken relationships.

Day 2 - Read Matthew 5: 21-22
When I was a kid and nasty name calling would erupt, my mother would try to soothe the hurts saying: “Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can never hurt us!” I’m sure it was comforting to hear her calming words – but deep down inside I knew that words (name calling) really did hurt. And Jesus knew that too. He knew that speaking an- gry words could be like throwing gasoline on a fire – explosive. So Matthew tells us that Jesus interpreted “Do not murder” to show the intention of God’s will that we not be angry – that we not call each other names – that we not speak badly about our brother or sister or neighbor.

Has anyone ever called you a nasty name? How did you feel? Did it hurt? Angry attacks often provoke defensiveness ... and sometimes retaliation. Let us pray that God will give us the self discipline to speak well of others, and the courage to work out any hurts and angers that we may feel toward others or that we think others may feel toward us.

Day 3 - Read Matthew 5: 21-24
As a teenager, I suffered a few ordeals of breaking up with a girlfriend. (Maybe you experienced this too). It seemed to happen in those most vulnerable times of high school and college. Breaking up – trying to make up – only to later face another break up. It seemed to be a life experience painfully recycled. We even had songs about it back in the 60’s.

Now, as an adult, I wonder whatever happened to that effort to “make up”? It seems that when we “break up” now – when we have a falling out with someone or a disagreement over something, we are more inclined to just “write that person out of our life” rather than try to find a way to “make up” (to be reconciled). And yet Jesus says this is so important that even if we realize this in the middle of a worship service, we should go and “make up” (be reconciled) with that person ... and then come back to finish worshiping. Maybe this is why we include the sharing of the peace in our worship service.

Let us pray that the Holy Spirit will embolden us to go to the person with whom we have some dispute (or who has some dispute with us) and empower us to work with love, patience and persistence toward reconciliation.

Day 4 - Read Matthew 5: 21-26
God’s commandments were given not only to regulate our relationships in community with each other but also to prescribe our relationship with God. So if there is anger or discord in our relationship with another person ... how might that affect our relationship with God? In 1st John chapter 4 we read: “We love because he first loved us. If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.” Jesus knows that our conflicted relationships with each other will inevitably contaminate our relationship with God. So again, reconciliation with our “brother” takes a very high priority.

Let us pray that we not hide or deny our broken relationships with any others, but that God will help us go in love to be reconciled with them. For God has said: “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” (Matthew 25: 40). Let us reconcile with our brother so that we may likewise be reconciled with God.

Day 5 -Read Matthew 5: 21-26
Why do you think Jesus expresses such urgency about our reconciling: “Settle matters quickly with your adversary ...” ? Jesus didn’t command us to not get angry (he got angry himself several times), but he commands us to deal with it constructively; not stew in it, not pretend it doesn’t exist, not let it fester inside us. Jesus knows that we tend to procrastinate, especially with unpleasant or difficult things we really don’t want to do. And he knows that if we stew in our anger or let it fester, it will trap us in a vicious cycle of unsatisfactory relationships and ultimately alienation from God. So he tells us to go to our brother/sister to settle matters quickly. He tells us to take the initiative to make it happen ... to take the first step ... to make the first move.

Let us pray that God will give us the courage to acknowledge our anger, the humility to go to our brother (or sister) with whom we have that disagreement, and the love to persist in seeking reconciliation.

A Visible Community

by Alli Watson

Day 1 - Read Matthew 4:19; 5:13-16; and Mark 9:49
In calling the disciples, Jesus implores them: “Come, follow me, and I will make you fishers of men”. Jesus is telling his disciples, past and present, “Follow me, and I will give you the tools you need to further the Kingdom of God”. What tools has God equipped you with? In what way(s) have you been “salted with fire”? Prayerfully consider how the tools God has blessed you with, are equipping you to serve and illumine God's Kingdom.

Day 2 -Read Mark 8:14-18 So to see...
We have been told we have tools to use to further God's kingdom. But how is it, that we come to faithfully employ them? Perhaps the first step in using our tools is seeing and becoming aware of where exactly it is that we need to use them. After the disciples failed to see the significance of the Lord before them, Jesus asks “Do you still not see or understand?” Is not God asking us the same question? What is it that we see in God's Kingdom? What is it that we do not see?

Day 3 Read Hebrews 3:7-8 and 1 Peter 3:15 So to hear...
In our world today, it can be very easy to point out injustice and disparity, and we are certainly called to use our tools to strive for justice. How do we, as Christian people, know what justice is? In essence, what is it that we stand for and how do our actions show it? Our God is a living God and so speaks to us through His word. We are invited to pray upon and listen to what it is that He is saying. What are you hearing God say to you about what you see in his Kingdom?

Day 4: Read Psalm 37:3-6 So to feel...
As Christians, we are incredibly blessed to have a God who seeks our hearts and souls. Not only does the Lord connect with us in sight and sound, He also engages our hearts so that we may feel. Let us pray that with all the Lord shows us and tells us, that we may be open to the Word, encouragement, and motivation laid upon our hearts by the Spirit.

Day 5 - Read Ephesians 4:7-16 So to do...
The Lord has blessed us with tools inclusive of and in addition to seeing, hearing and feeling. However, His intent was not for us to sit idly by and bask in the wonderment of the gift itself. Instead, we are called to use these tools! Let us pray that we forever recognize Christ as the head and join together in love, as we use our tools to work in His Kingdom and illustrate our lives in the light. in the light.

The Beatitudes

by Jane Norris

Day 1: Uphill Climb
Read Matthew 5:1-2. Jesus climbs the hillside, away from the crowds gathering below, and his disciples follow. He leads them away from the crush of the world’s distractions and stresses -- and far above their comfort zone --and unrolls a blueprint for discipleship unlike anything they’ve heard before.

How hard is it for you to pull away from the responsibilities and delights of your world for devotions or Bible study? Are there routines you can establish in the new year to spend more time listening to the Word?

Read Matthew 5: 3-12 as if Jesus has pulled you aside personally to tell you something important. Try reading the passage aloud and truly hearing the words. Try physically stepping away from the place where you normally read your Bible. Do the words sound any different when you’ve stepped outside your routine?

Day 2: Emptied
Read Matthew 5:3, 4 and 5.

Many of the disciples, like the multitudes at the base of the mountain, must have thought Jesus would overthrow the unjust regime of the time and free his people in a more conventional way. To a disciple who had expected a freedom fighter, how confusing it must have been to hear that the kingdom belonged to the meek and the mourning.

But loss can be a more powerful spiritual catalyst than gain. Even the happiest relationships in our lives can consume our time and attention to the exclusion of everyone and everything else. The confidence that leads us to success in academics, athletics, arts and careers can shut us off to the indwelling of the Spirit if it slides into arrogance and entitlement.

Emptiness is never a void. Mourning does not require a death - - just a realization that no one other than God can take the best seat in your heart. Nor does meekness require weakness or wimpiness -- just a retreat from arrogance and selfishness and entitlement. In those moments in life when all the distractions of ego and self are gone, there’s more room for God. And true emptiness is a gift that came at a high price, because Jesus died to empty us of sin and condemnation.

Think back to a time in your life when you felt utterly empty. How close to God did you feel? Could the busyness of life be keeping you from God’s business? If you’ve lost what you’ve loved the most, could something even better lie ahead? Instead of feeling bereft by loss, can you picture emptiness as a clean slate, a chance to start over fresh?

Day 3: Filled
Read Matthew 5:6, 7 and 8.

Emptied of ego and attachments -- no longer working for bread that spoils (John 6:27) and finally hungry for Jesus, the bread of life (John 6:35) -- the disciple is satisfied, finds mercy and sees God. “You are my portion,” the psalmist says (Psalm 119:57).

Could you find the most nourishing things in life for yourself by seeking them first for others? Jesus told the disciples that whoever would be first among them must be a servant (Mark 10:43). Jesus asked his disciples to leave their families and their jobs behind. One by one, they did, to find a greater reward (Matthew 19:29).

The pure in heart will see wonders and find joy everywhere, because they’re looking for them (Philippians 4:8-9). People filled with mercy, confident that their own needs are met, will be able to recognize more of God’s mercies unfolding around them (Lamentations 3:22-24). If you look for the best in the people around you, does it become easier to see?

Read John 14: 25-27. Jesus promises that he does not give the way the world gives. In your own life, how has Jesus offered you something better than what you could find for yourself out in the world?

Day 4: Sent
Read Matthew 5:9.

People who help people patch up their differences with each other aren’t the only peacemakers. There also are peacemakers in the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5: 16-21), who help others get their hearts right with God.

The dictionary says that “reconcile” means “to make friendly again or win over to a friendly attitude.” You can minister to a hungry and seeking world without saying a word. In what ways can others look at your attitudes and actions and see your relationship to God? Has seeing God’s work in someone else’s life ever deepened your own faith?

The disciples, as new creations, spend the rest of their lives helping to bring others’ hearts in line with God’s. They return to a world in which Jesus’ words were their only instructions.

They have important roles in the kingdom, all right, but not as conquering heroes with promotions and titles and bankrolls. They stumble, they fumble and sometimes they get it all wrong. But they go where they’re sent, and they have everything they need to handle what comes their way. When they learn to rely on God, they’re able to accomplish far more than they’d ever dreamed because they have everything they need, as Paul explains cheerfully from a prison cell (Philippians 4:13).

Do you feel confident that you will have everything you need, whatever happens? If not, what would change your mind or convince you?

Day 5: Down the Mountain
Read Matthew 5:10-12. When the disciples come back down the mountain, they’re still as human as we are. They sleep through perhaps the most pivotal prayer in history, run away when Jesus is arrested and never manage to stop squabbling with each other. But they find their way into their new roles in a world that would never be the same -- a world that saw them as criminals, troublemakers and freaks.

By stepping out of the boat, the disciples rock the boat, making powerful enemies among those whose careers depend upon the safety of the status quo. Jesus knows how tough life will be for them on their new paths, but he prays to his Father to save them from evil, not from opposition and strife (John 17: 14-15). In this world, they, and we, will have trouble.

Peter, a fisherman who never dreamed he’d be thrust into public speaking -- the same guy who denied knowing Jesus -- steps up and becomes a shepherd and leader, just as Jesus said he would (John 21:15-19). James, who once sought to be first among the disciples (Mark 10:37), is the first to be martyred (Acts 12:2).

When you face strife or stress, do you believe that God will give you what you need to get through it? Does knowing that you are in pretty special company make it easier to face the struggles in life?