Cross my heart and hope to die

by Mary Preston

Day 1 - Read Matthew 5:33-37
Perhaps you remember saying "Cross my heart and hope to die" when you were a child. We would make a promise and reinforce it by swearing such an oath. In other words, we REALLY meant what we said. This passage in Matthew quotes Jesus on the subject of oaths. Jesus says to not swear by heaven or earth or Jerusalem or by your own head. In the law followed by the Pharisees, it was common to swear by something. Yet Jesus says that we cannot change a hair on our head by swearing by it.

What do you swear by?

Why do we feel that it is necessary to swear by something? St. Augustine felt that oaths were beneath the dignity of a gentleman. This is similar to our expression, “my word is my bond”. Do we need to swear by something?

Day 2 - Read Matthew 26:69-74
Look at Peter when he is telling the lie that he does not know Jesus. He progressively shores up his statements so that the listeners will believe him. The first time he says that he doesn’t know what they are talking about. The second time, he denies it "with an oath", and the third time, calls down curses on himself if he lies.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus says more than once that he is not abolishing the religious laws but is asking for a higher standard based on the spirit of the law. Oaths in the Old Testament were designed to restrict, to put a fence around serious statements (the word oath, horkos, in Greek has the meaning of fence or enclosure). But God himself takes oaths. They are not light ones – he promises to always be faithful to his people (Hebrews 6:16-20)

Day 3 – Read Deuteronomy 23:21
The writer of Deuteronomy urges us to follow through on our vows to the Lord. What vows (oaths) are helpful? Vows can help us when there are temptations. Vows/oaths are taken in religious and secular settings. They are used on formal occasions such as joining a church, getting married, getting citizenship, and obtaining voting privileges. Even though many might say, “it’s just a piece of paper” maybe in our weakness, this represents help staying the course of a commitment to a marriage or a church in times of conflict or tension.

Day 4 – Read Matthew 5:37
This verse is all about Jesus’ call to truthfulness. Sounds like a good idea. Yet, how often do we tell “little white lies"? Why do we do this?

Perhaps it is for our financial benefit “the IRS is a big organization, and won’t miss my money if I bend the truth a bit”. Another reason could be to please other people, or to not hurt their feelings. Have you ever told someone with a new haircut (that you secretly think is very unflattering) “I like your hair”? Sounds good in the moment, but perhaps she will always have that style based on your untrue compliment! Or “we really have to get together” when you have no such intention? Do we exaggerate either our troubles to gain sympathy (“I work so hard”) or our accomplishments to gain recognition?

Untruthfulness can ruin a relationship. Bonhoeffer says: “Untruthfulness destroys fellowship but truth cuts false fellowship to pieces and establishes genuine brotherhood”

Let me give you a painful example: A long time acquaintance and I were bemoaning her daughter’s inability to clearly tell an acquaintance that she really didn’t want to get together with her on New Year’s Eve. Yet, when the mom said, let’s the two of us get together, I was not honest in my response (I didn’t want to get together). I left the conversation with a sense of my dishonesty, and with a remembrance of the passage about the splinter in the person’s eye that I was criticizing and the log in my own. (Matthew 7:1-5)

Day 5 – Read Matthew 5:48
This standard of truthfulness is too high. It is too hard. We (I) keep failing at it. We feel guilty. And it doesn’t help to be told “Be ye perfect”. But there is help. One scholar translates this passage as a promise from God “you SHALL be perfect”. Read Matthew 6:13, 2 Thessalonians 3:3, 1 John 5:18,19 for reassurance. God is with us, protecting us, helping us always. Tom Wilkens expresses this well (Un-American Activities: Countercultural Themes in Christianity p.118-119): “Guilt has gone out of favor in the last century or so. ... Theologies or philosophies that attempt to replace guilt with a comprehensive no-fault life policy are fraudulent. Get real. Get honest. Guilt requires a thick coat of forgiveness, not a thin cloak of therapy or rationalization. And forgiveness, like faith, is not achieved: it is given.” Grace.

Yes, being truthful is hard. Yet if we are, we don’t need to reinforce it with oaths. We could start by keeping our word in small things – for example “I will bring that article to you next Wednesday”. God is our strength in our weakness.